#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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mascot
#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe#i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor#but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes#like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this'#it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk#i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time#it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume#i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing#and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others#plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib#i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity#my art#myart#my oc#sona#mascot#furry#??? is this furry art????#twinkle#puppysona#edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-
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Since we’re on the topic of video games, im tired of these fucking remakes. Ive said it before but i’ll say it again each time. These companies dont wanna invest in an actually good remaster or port and would rather waste their time with these remakes bcuz “ooh look how shiny and better the graphics look!!1!1!1” often times it has an empty feeling because everything has to be ultra realism super 6000. Its gotten so bad that now regular gamers are starting to gaslight you into playing or enjoying them. So much has been lost artistically, (like the cool UI designs) that it’s now considered “juvenile” and that i need to “grow up” and “accept it” 😂
#Being genuine and having atmosphere/lore/small details surrounding the game does a lot more.#And can we pls have built in emulators or#backwards combatibility on these newer consoles? if ur able to do all this other shit you can give us an official emulator#And ik that sometimes the developers have actually lost certain files data assets etc within the OG games that cannot be regained#But you can make an entire remake no problem🙄 it be feeling like they are getting told by higher ups “do it or else”#Im gen z and idk if its my gen or a combination of everyone regardless of age wanting these remakes all of a sudden#Bcuz i swear i remember most ppl disliked or didnt care abt them now everyone is on board with it???#No game after the year 1999 should have a remake. A rerelease or remaster is fine. But a remake? Do we really need that…#Also game design used to be cute and fun. Whatever happened to that? Wheres my clever save spots and menu screens?#Theres only a tad bit of remakes i have no problem with and even then its not “needed”#i also understand not liking smth due to its art style. But to act like majority of old games looks terrible is crazy come on now.#Why does h0rizon need a remaster and why are u not allowed to buy or download the OG version of it anymore 😐#feels like ppl think OG games are nothing when they are the entire reason#The amplified hyperrealistic my-26k-ultra-supercomputer-made-this remake exists in the first fucking place#regarding limitations of old games and consoles i could understand a rerelease port but they could just add on stuff and leave it alone lol#Emulators also exists guys….#Rant#Other
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It's always "Shou and Ritsu need to blow stuff up with their minds for mental health reasons" or Ritsu and Teru or even Shou and Teru!
But what about Mob? When does he get to blow stuff up with his mind for funsies? For shits and giggles? He didn't go through all of those meltdowns and character development for nothing, let him go ham on a junkyard car or something smh
I believe in Mob's narrative given right to fuck shit up sometimes
#im hungry i should do homework i should also finish all of my other drafted posts BUT I AM LAZY#ive been starting to write fic tho at least thats productive. fic thats kind of relevant to this actually hm#listen i just want more Mob content where he does smth reckless or stupid with his powers he deserves it#or just in general tbh i need more content of mob being kinda mean or having arguments with ppl like to a healthy degree ok#but i still want him to. yanno. lash out and stuff. experience emotion. have him get angry over petty stuff#the first mp100 fic ive ever started writing/drafting had mob and ritsu having a proper fight post canon#i just need it for my OWN mental health. let them have dumb sibling fights and have mob express his annoyances#itd be funny and cathartic. for me at least. ill finish that shit one day its been assembled and disassembled but ill figure it out#eventually#let mob feel and express all of the ugly emotions he didnt allow himself to acknowledge for years pls#its my favourite thing#anyway.#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#cine te a intrebat
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mutuals can dm for new blog if I make one. I'm probably gonna delete this finally I'm tired of people being so fucking cruel on here
#txt#if u dont want to thats fine I'm just not gonna allow ppl to fuck with me when i dont even use this shit unless im posting music.#i feel like crashing out tho fr cuz shit like this happens to me and no one gives a fuck lol thats why i dont fuck with this
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I still think about Edd and May so let me talk about a little thing that i need to get out my head really quick
Yall remember this scene right?? May crying bc she got rejected and stepped on (literally) on her love confession and all.
Besides this being a very sweet act of Double D by giving her a card to not make her feel lonely on Valentine's day, there's something else about it.
Double D chosen the card it was supposed to be for Nazz. You know, the prettiest girl for most of the boys in the show. He gave May something it was meant to be for a girl he actually has kind of a crush on just to make her stop crying. I think that's cute.
#i really like this scene bc it is an awkward 12/13 years old trying to comfort another awkward 12/13 years old#I NEED TO SAID AGAIN THAT I DON'T REALLY CARE IF IT IS PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC I JUST THINK THEIR DYNAMIC IS CUTE#it really says a lot about the two of them on how they got their crush on each other tho#how May fall for Dee bc he was sweet to her and Dee bc she was smart lol#i guess smart and blonde is Dee type of girl#and bald and shorty is his taste in man#what a bi icon#anyways#they are so adoreble i wish ppl actually talked about them i get the feeling a lot of fans just want to forget about the Valentine special#which is fair#but hey im still allowed to talk about it#and there are such funny lines in this episode i wonder if the vas were having fun or second hand embarrassment
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fuck byu all my homies hate byu
#i tried explaining to my bishop that hey! my feelings and needs aren’t like most ppls! i literally have a diagnosis about it!#but unless i promised to regularly attend meetings (awful. i won’t.) and pay tithing (i don’t trust that. i won’t.)#then i no longer have an ecclesiastical endorsement#i can’t go to school there anymore#i’ve done two years#i keep the honor code standards#if i was a non-member i’d be able to answer those interview questions and get an endorsement just fine#but since i WAS a member (my parents choice raising me that way never my decision) and am no longer active#i have 10 days to find a new job and have to scramble to transfer schools#don’t come for me i KNOW it’s a private school and they’re allowed to require whatever they want#IM AWARE. IVE BEEN TOLD.#i just think they things they require and the rigidity of their rules is a super dick move#and frankly? not very christlike of the so called lords campus /derogatory#byu#exmo
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You can't show me nlou hate as the first post in the hthm tags while im having a headache man cmon
#sorry im pissy my nap didn't cure my headache but god#'hthm has an important role in the story' yes 'unlike nlou' EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER#nlou's sq being more focused on npc is a valid complaint but i still *get* why it's like that#bcs it expands on how the grand bazaar works and nlou's relationships with the other ppl in it. the bazaar is important to nlou's character#i feel like im losing coherence (again. headache) so i'll stop here#smth smth hate whoever you want im just allowed to get pissed off in my own home abt how you do it
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Oh cool, fic of my fav character with a masc reader that's nice-
Fem aligned people dni!!!
Welp guess I'll just fuck off then
#tbh thats. partially the reason i usually never end up reading male reader inserts...cos yeah#like. im as fem as i am masc so i dont want to interact with stuff like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry#and its a stupid gripe ik and i get why male reader insert ppl want a space to themselves bc so much r-insert is overwhelmingly fem#but like idk! it kinda sucks!#delete later#even when male reader stuff doesnt have dnis like that seeing them so much makes me feel weird now...like im not really allowed to enjoy it
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I get that it's not the job of every person who's fluent in their first language to teach it to new learners, but why is there such an attitude surrounding new learners? Why is there the idea that every person should be fluent before they dare speak aloud? You don't have to let people be wrong, but you do have to accept that there is a polite way to correct someone. If you're going to correct someone you should at least muster the effort to do it politely. You don't have to point out a mistake in a way that shames someone. That discourages learning, which in turn only causes even more of the situations that had you acting this way in the first place.
Idk why you'd feel the need to flex on someone who's showing you a vulnerable point. If someone trusts you enough to fail around you that's not something you should scorn. Is it not in poor taste to break a child's wrist when they challenge an adult to arm wrestling? Why are you trying to gain a feeble sense of power over someone who is still learning? I don't get it.
#smokey talks#learning spanish is becoming difficult. i feel like im getting nowhere without talking to native speakers but also#a lot of the bilingual ppl ive tried talking 2 have been rude to me about me sucking at Spanish and its really getting to me#to the point where i dont even want to speak 2 anybody in Spanish at all. im not a fast learner i struggle with learning things and#im not exactly in a situation that allows me 2 pay for classes. im trying my hardest here ok so bare minimum u can manage is 2 be nice
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getting sloppy drunk for the first time on accident: woo! i am going to luxuriate in the todays decadent win of the montreal canadiens, mes habs, over the florida panthers and the fact that our baby rookie baby goalie shut out said defending stanley cup champs! and also think salacious things about sam monty montembeault. olé
#only time ive ever been happy seeing snowbirds consume something back home!#it was only in becoming a habs fan that i realized all those french ppl i encountered at work back home were probably canadian#i always wanted to try n use my meagre french to say hi but i didnt have the right words todo my job..... need more mots de poisson. yea#anyway has anyone considered the beauty of potentially having an older very passive strong rock goalie paired with a very young slip on his#own shoes kinda aggro baby goalie#right before the arber fight dach was like fuckin w the guy n he shoved or near shoved dobes and dobes glove dhim alittle and i remember#being like omggggggggg#monty would NOT do that but youre so valid for this little big man#so fun to see him playin outta the crease i like the different styles i am becoming a conoisseur bro#i like. hockey#i wishhh they showed monty on the bench more. so glad he got rested. if u talk about him like hes a bandaid until fowler comes and hes fully#replaced by dobes do NOT talk 2 me. i like dobes quite a lot but u do NOT need to be shoving my boyyy out the door. respect your goalie#anyway in spirit of old homes. i hope he trounces the bolts lollllllll get it boy#did u know tumblr only allows 30 tags? discovered this last reblog. rude :(#i like that habs get 2 broadcasts because we get sneaky clips. sometimes gone on one but present on other#thank god bec otherwise we woulda missed half the dobes celebration.... sooo happy for that crumb of a guy#we love goalie success.#i wonder if the 30 tag limit is only for reblogs? feels like i msybe passed that but idk. not trying to but#anyway i wore the lovely habs scarf my beautiful talented girlfriend made me all around town. sports!#WILL i be hungover for the bolts game? i dont know. i have never been this drunk before#i had. 1.5 drinks. im a huge fuckin lightweight but TO BE FAIR the furst was really heavy on high strength baibooze#christ#at least i didnt wander into trafgfic how the fuck#dude i hope the habs kick asss tmrw. theyve been buildjng up so well. its ok if they dont i will forgivevthem but they should fight hard....#do it for sain loui#saint louis#do u think they know what benihets are#beignets. from new orleansx#not donuts#i think the habs deserve a crawfush boil. too bad its out of season :(((
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begging people to adopt the idgaf mindset i think if we all just developed a lil idgaf energy it would lead us to nirvana
#argent rambles#redactedverse#redacted audio#im honestly shocked there's even a confessions blog for redacted like that feels so 2017 fandom and it's always been a bad idea#i looked the blog up after seeing the discourse just to block it and ough i can feel it i feel love and light filling me 😍#but seriously this goes for both sides you see ppl hating on the thing you like? go 'idgaf' and block#you hate on things and want to make it everyone else's problem for some reason? take a step back and think 'hm idgaf actually' and move on#you are allowed to not like things it's ok trust me i don't like things all the time#but that doesn't mean you should make it a moral crusade to try find a reason to ruin it for everyone else#you can hate certain characters or storylines or feel like the content is not as good as it was blah blah blah#but by continuing to then focus on all the things you hate instead of moving on and only interacting with the parts you do like#you are dragging yourself and others down into a hateful spiral and in the end no one's happy#i genuinely hope the ppl using that blog as a way to be pissy are just like too young to understand how being a hater is not fulfilling#bc if you're an adult using an anonymous blog to just to be a hater sorry but like.... grow up a lil bit
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i am going to complain here where no one will see it bcos i have like 5 followers
#i really want someone to express any kind of romantic interest in me or even just attraction at this point tbh#i need to feel like i exist and have some kind of worth to another person#and like yeah friends and my friends are everything to me but its been years since anyone has like#wanted to be close to me. or expressed a desire for me. which is cringe as fuck to say but ive always been so self conscious#and like reviled for my body. how i behave. everything#i just want to feel like im allowed to have the same experience as other ppl that someone out there truly truly wants me#that to them i am like beautiful and epic and awesome or watever#but also i dont want any of this to happen because i think i have some kind of unresolved issues with intimacy due to past mistreatment#and its extremely easy for me to become scared and standoffish if someone tries to come onto me too quickly#cool. awesome. its so dark in here
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